"Get your life together". Curious phrase, no? I've heard it in a tousand moves and TV shows. It's always uttered when someone is in a state of mental dissarray because of whatever circumstances they're in. When their life has "fallen apart" so to speak.
I've always found it a bit odd to say it that way though. It's not like their life isn't together... it's just a bit messy. I see a cluttered life like I see a cluttered bedroom. Put away the toys, straiten up the shelves, put the dirty shirts in the hampter, and maybe spray some febreeze on the chair. Same thing with a life... but each of the steps is a little more complicated. I'm slowly learning that.
This week I finally got around to updating Stained Wood, though I didn't add any new features. Still, it should be safe to start a world with it again since I won't be changing the block IDs anymore... unless something major happens of course. <_< I didn't want to wait until I felt like doing the art for the rest of the new stuff... despite the fact that that art is basically just recolors. *shrug*
I'm also helping out with a new web community that revolves around texture creations. We're just getting everything back together after a pretty major setback. It's... slow going. Still, I'm taking kind of a back seat role in the whole thing, so it's not too involving or time consuming for me.
I've been working on "Sanity" again, trying to do a texture or two every day. I... haven't exactly been meeting that goal. Still, I've come pretty close. Everything should be 1.3.1 compatible now. I was going to send out a preview to everyone again, but I got started on other things so it'll probably be Wednesday before I get around to it. That'll give me some time to polish a few rough spots and add a few more features. I'm working on wolves so hopefully I'll have those done.
Now that I've talked about my accomplishments a little, let me share something kinda personal. As a general rule, I don't like myself. I am of the opinion that I'm not a very good person. Self-loathing is a dangerous pattern... and I've been in it for a while. It sucks, and while I try not to let it affect how I conduct myself... it does.
That said, this week I've really been noticing my own better qualities. I like to help peope out, and have. I spent a decent chunk of time talking with someone about his own mental illnesses, and making him feel better. Giving tips and trading stories and so forth. I also spent time with another fellow, ministering to him and helping him through a bout of anger caused by some rather vocal atheists. >:-( It's been a while since I've been able to witness to anyone, and it felt good. ^_^
I'm also found myself being quite humble, another one of my better traits. In the community project I talked about, the lead gave me a position of power beyond the other people who were helping out, despite the agreed on rule being that everyone below him would be roughly equal... and I gave it up. Revoked my own privilages on the site to retain that equality. I don't mean to boast about my humility... but this is something I like about myself so darn it I'm going to record it here so I won't forget it. ;-)
You know what... I might just be a good person after all. :-)
On a related note, I think I'm going to be changing my name here in a few weeks. I think that now that I'm starting on a better path, it's time to leave the madness behind. What do you think?